Creating Influence: Strengthen Your Leadership Skills

Why do women embrace the "diva" label but shy away from leadership? Personally, I don't get it.

In The Urban Dictionary (www.urbandictionary.com), there are many definitions for the word "diva" and most of them echo this definition:  "a bitchy woman that must have her way exactly, or no way at all. often rude and belittles people, believes that everyone is beneath her and thinks that she is so much more loved than what she really is. selfish, spoiled, and overly dramatic."

But there is a nicer definition:
"1.to describe a person who exudes great style and personality with confidence and expresses their own style and not letting others influence who they are or want to be. 2. A person whose character makes them stands out from the rest. 3. Noun; a person's title in a group of friends or in society that is popular or famous and who many people try to copy. 4. A person who tries to achieve what they want and who do not let people get in their way, and doing so with style and class."

If someone was talking about you, and calling you a diva, which definition would you want them to be using? More importantly, which definition do you want defining you?

My guess is that you'd choose one of all of the meanings in the second definition. Am I right?

If I am, then you are aspiring to leadership. You can massage the words to make them sound better, but it's about leadership - life leadership. Here's ways to define good leader:

Is authentic: you're real, honest and confident. All too often a woman - especially when she's young - is acting like someone she wants to be or thinks she should be. When you aren't your real self, you cheat yourself out of a degree of self-confidence and poise that a phony can never enjoy. "...not letting others influence who they are or want to be."

Has a vision of her life: You don't follow the pack or let someone else talk you into following their vision (unless the visions intersect). If you don't have your own vision - your plan, your agenda, your dreams and goals, you'll end up doing something that is opposed to your own good - a job you hate, a marriage that makes you feel used and unappreciated, a relationship that's all give on your end and all take on the other end.

Takes action: You don't talk about what you're going to do someday without taking some action (e.g. taking a course, volunteering to get experience). It may take a long time to achieve your vision, but if you don't take action, nothing will happen...and then you'll die.,

Has good character: You know what you stand for - honesty, integrity, dependability, etc. And you act accordingly. There is an old adage that says that character is what you do when no one is looking. "A person whose character makes them stands out from the rest."

Has good boundaries: You can't be the leader of your life when you let people walk all over you, or yell at you or take advantage. As a good leader, you

Can be depended on for her professionalism and follow through.