...Deborah Tannen Wrote the Book!
If you have never read one of Deborah Tannen's books, go to your library and get one, or download it from your library's website. You might enjoy That's Not What I Meant!: How Conversational Style Makes or Breaks Relationships
"Communication is a continual balancing act, juggling the conflicting needs for intimacy and independence. To survive in the world, we have to act in concert with others, but to survive as ourselves, rather than simply as cogs in a wheel, we have to act alone." Deborah Tannen
Read articles and listen to podcasts on Tannen's website: http://www9.georgetown.edu/faculty/tannend/