Are you living an inspired life? Or are you treading water in a sea of overcare – and on your way to a drowning burnout? If you’re like most women, it’s the latter – and now is a good time to make that change.
Mira Kirshenbaum, author of The Emotional Energy Factor, explains, "Just as physical energy comes from diet, exercise and rest, emotional energy comes from the ways you take care of yourself emotionally -- living in a way that makes you feel inspired, hopeful, self-confident, playful, loving and in touch with what you care about most." Are you doing that? If you aren't, how can you jazz up your life if you don't have the emotional energy? Here are three ways to re-ignite your emotional energy:
1 - Give up multi-tasking.
Multi-tasking is a way of life for most women. You try to do so many things at once and, when you don’t, you feel as though you’re letting someone down. The problem with doing that is you always have three-four-eight things on your mind which makes you feel constantly stressed. That constant stress sucks up your emotional energy. Not only are you cheating yourself out of your life, but many times that feeling of being always-overwhelmed leads to depression.
Can you stop? Yes! But if you're a constant multi-tasker and can’t go cold-turkey. How do you break the multi-tasking habit?
Start small. Pan to do give up multi-tasking just one day a week. For just one day a week, do one thing at a time. If you are talking to your friend on the phone, do just that – instead of talking while you’re straightening up the kitchen or taking a walk. If you are driving to work, do just that - instead of putting on make-up, thinking about the meeting you're going to later, or what to have for dinner and where you need to stop to get it. Just talk or walk or drive. If you are cleaning, do just that and don't allow someone to distract you with a request for help. One thing at a time. At the end of the day, ask yourself how you feel.
2 - Rethink what you love. Life happens largely by habit. Maybe you have a habit of playing cards with the neighbors once a month, even though it's not as much fun as it once was. Or you go to the same restaurant all the time, even though the food isn’t what it used to be. And do you still go to the shore each year even though, without the kids, it's a little boring.
Maybe you used to love those things, but now you’ve outgrown them and just haven’t realized it. Doing the "same old same old" paralyzes your emotional energy. So challenge your status quo...
- Ask yourself if you are still having fun with that card-playing couple or if you’ve grown tired of the same old snacks and same old jokes. Suggest doing something different.
- Try a weekend of hiking in the mountains to see if you like it better than lying on the beach.
3 - End relationships with toxic people. These are the people who take and take but give back almost nothing – or less. I call them “one-way streets.” They complain about things, or always have some kind of drama going on, or manage to get in little digs that hurt your feelings. They need you and aren’t afraid to ask for help, or they dump their emotional crap on you, even when you have plenty going on in your own life. Then, when you need something from them, they have something else going on that keeps them from being there for you.
Listen, if you are eliminating certain foods because they aren't good for you, do the same with people who aren't good for you. How to do it:
- Get too busy to always be there for them
- Instead of just listening to their sad song and dance, ask them what they will do instead
- If they constantly complain about the same thing (like the kid that is always in trouble but who they constantly enable), tell them you don't want to hear any more until they start taking action - and then change the subject.
Eventually they will find someone else to replace you.
Sometimes we all get into habits that made sense in the past but no longer serve a purpose or make us feel good – but we still keep doing them out of obligation, loyalty or habit. Doing that leads to emotional boredom and an uninspired life...and a ton of regrets.
Shaking things up will feel a little uncomfortable and a bit scary at first, but that's what victory is all about - moving out of the comfort zone and into the great expression of who you really are.
Are you ready to recharge your emotional energy? Pick one of the tips above and get started. You'll be surprised where it leads!