Values are beacons of light that guide you and keep you on the right path. Sometimes, what you learned growing up is in conflict with your true values.
For example, your parents or teachers might have taught you to be “good girls” – which probably meant that you should go along and be agreeable. So now, even though you’re grown up, when people ask you to do something for them, you probably say ‘yes’ – even if it steps on something you value – like your honesty, health, independence or self-respect. You might think saying ‘yes’ when you’d rather say ‘no’ will avoid rejection or just that it may be good manners. But it can be very destructive to your health. How? When you feel angry, resentful, bitter, etc. on a regular basics, those feelings solidify into attitudes. If those attitudes don’t mesh with your values, you create internal conflict. Research has shown that internal conflict and negative/pessimistic attitudes dampen the immune system and leave you vulnerable to disease (dis-ease).
From now on, instead of instantly agreeing to requests, take a moment to think about what you can and cannot do. Practice saying, “Let me think about it and I’ll get back to you [name a specific time].” OR, suggest a help exchange, that is, you can help them with their project, if they will help you with something you have to do.
If you haven’t thought about your true values lately, take some time this month to think about them. Start here: Values Tracker
