Congresswoman Kristi Noem of South Dakota just earned her college degree in Political Science. According to her website, the forty-year-old is a rancher, who “actively farmed with her family for 17 years, owned and operated a hunting operation, and helped manage the family restaurant.” She left college in her twenties due [...]]]> Congresswoman Earns Degree

Congresswoman Kristi Noem of South Dakota just earned her college degree in Political Science. According to her website, the forty-year-old is a rancher, who “actively farmed with her family for 17 years, owned and operated a hunting operation, and helped manage the family restaurant.” She left college in her twenties due to a family tragedy. She didn’t go back until a couple years ago, after she was already successful,  .

Here’s the inspiration you can take from Noem’s acheivement:

1 – It’s not too late to do get what you want . Like Congresswoman Noem, I didn’t have a college degree for a long time. I always felt a little embarrassed that I never finished, but I also didn’t give up. In 1998 I returned to college and, in 2001, I graduated from Neumann University, magna cum laude.

What makes Noem’s achievement important is, even though way past college age, she decided the degree meant something. So she put in the effort and got it done. From my own experience I can tell you it’s a challenge. But when it’s done, it’s something that no one can take away from me – ever. Decision leads the charge and persistent effort wins the day.

Whether you want an undergraduate degree, an advanced degree, your own business or something else, if it’s important enough to you, you’ll find a way to do it.

2 – You can be a success without a college degree. Statistically speaking, those with college degrees earn more money over the life of their career than those who don’t have a college degree. However, I know plenty of women who don’t have a degree, but have very successful businesses. I also know too many college grads (especially these days) who can’t find a job. Even more common are those whose career has nothing to do with their college major.

What does make a difference is commitment and hard work. And, if something isn’t working, having the willingness to look at what’s holding you back and changing it.

3 – Life’s obstacles may delay a goal, but don’t have to deny it.

How many times has life thrown you a curveball? If you’re like most people, it’s happened a lot, and probably with regularity. Sometimes it’s a minor inconvenience, but other times it’s something really big: a car accident, a serious or chronic illness, a spouse passing away unexpectedly, suddenly finding out you’re the only sibling willing to care for your aging parent.

Depending on what you do, life’s obstacles can slow you down or stop you. If you let them, obstacles can destroy you.

On the other hand, an obstacle can strengthen and sharpen you. Sometimes you have to shift and other times you have to dig in your heels but you don’t have to quit.

And that’s where victory comes into play. Victory is what happens when you do something that pushes you forward and during which you have to stretch out of your comfort zone – like returning to school with a bunch of twenty-somethings when you are old enough to be their mother.

Congresswoman Noem’s college degree is a easily a goal achieved. But it’s so much more. By the time summer gets here, the work will be a memory and she’ll be able to move getting her degree to the “done” column. But what it took for her to do it – her victory – will last forever!

Whatever you do, achieving a goal pales in comparison to the victory stretch you made to get there. Goals come and go, but victory lasts forever!

What are you waiting for? Hurry!

Info and entry link: VictoriousWomanContest.com

Victory is the stretch you make out of your comfort zone and into that fuller, more fabulous expression of your self. It isn’t a goal and it isn’t success, but it’s almost always necessary for both.

Why?

There’s an old adage, “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always [...]]]> What is Victory?

Victory is the stretch you make out of your comfort zone and into that fuller, more fabulous expression of your self. It isn’t a goal and it isn’t success, but it’s almost always necessary for both.

Why?

There’s an old adage, “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you already got.” It’s a saying that’s still around because it’s true. It’s like an exchange – you have to exchange something you have now for something you want for your future.

Maybe the exchange is about time you need to learn a new skill and to get more of it, you have to watch less television. Maybe it’s about facing your fears so you can take your life to the next level. Whatever it is, the truth is that any exchange – even when it makes perfect sense, will demand that you stretch into the new or the unknown. And change is uncomfortable for most of us.

A few years ago a woman called me for coaching. We had a conversation about her “burning goal” during which I asked her which of her volunteer jobs (which she did three nights a week) she was willing to give up to achieve her goal. Though the goal she wanted to achieve was going to need 6-8 hours/month, she didn’t want to give anything up. When I asked her where she was going to find the time, she didn’t know. I told her that before I’d work with her, she had to figure out where she was going to find the time. If she didn’t, she had no way of achieving her goal. The woman wasn’t happy with what I had to say, but it was the truth.

So, with that in mind, a few years ago I started giving reader the Victorious Woman Calendar. It’s downloadable and you gets you to start flexing your victory muscles in small but powerful ways. You can download the 2012 calendar here: VictoriousWomanCalendar.May2012

Former Senator John Edwards’ trial started today. Edwards is accused of violating federal campaign finance laws using campaign monies to fund and keep secret an affair with his mistress, Reille Hunter. Some of the evidence looks pretty damning but who knows if a crime was committed – that can be [...]]]> Is Infidelity The Norm?

Former Senator John Edwards’ trial started today. Edwards is accused of violating federal campaign finance laws using campaign monies to fund and keep secret an affair with his mistress, Reille Hunter. Some of the evidence looks pretty damning but who knows if a crime was committed – that can be sorted out during the trial. What I’m wondering about is the encounter I had with a lady at last year’s Italian-American Festival in Media PA.

It was a warm June day and, as a local author with Italian-American heritage, I was invited to do a book signing. I shared a table with the congenial author George Anastasia whose books and TV spots about the Italian mob in the Philadelphia area are so popular. We were having a good day when, in mid-afternoon, a well-dressed, pleasant-looking woman stopped by my table and excitedly began talking about my first book, Victorious Woman, which was displayed.

At first, though she was smiling and full of energy, I couldn’t quite understand what she was saying. She was talking fast, was on a roll and getting some attention from others standing nearby. Then I got her main point: women should be submissive to their husbands as the head of the house, as God intended. It wasn’t the first time Victorious Woman and I were used to give someone a platform to sermonize. She continued, and in a conspicuously loud voice, declared, “That’s why men cheat. If wives would stay home and take care of their husbands the way they should, all these men wouldn’t be cheating because they wouldn’t be tempted to look for women outside their marriages.”

As she took a breath, obviously pleased with herself, I quickly replied, “I don’t think Elizabeth Edwards would have agreed with you,” which was enough to (momentarily) halt the woman’s rant. “She did exactly that,” I went on. “She was an educated woman, an attorney, who stayed home, raised her children and supported her spouse’s ambitions. In return for her loyalty, John Edwards publicly used his marital relationship to promote his ‘good-as-gold’ image while, at the same time, he was privately getting busy with another woman.”

Though my words slowed the woman down, they didn’t stop her. When she finally walked away, table buddy George looked over at me and laughed. I wondered how many “Carmella Soprano” stay-at-home wives and mothers he’d come across in his mob research? And in Victorious Woman, Pattie Painter told about how her first spouse had an affair throughout most of their fourteen year marriage, during which he fathered three children with Pattie and she stayed home with them.

That attitude boggles my mind. How many women think that staying home is an insurance policy against their spouse having an extramarital affair? What do you think?

For a brief Edwards timeline: http://abcn.ws/iukhYi

Tell Your Story: Victorious Woman Contest  http://ow.ly/a6Qym

Join me:

• The Girlfriend Gala at Edgmont Country Club http://bit.ly/JAwgSe
• The 2012 Italian-American Festival at Rose Tree Park http://abruzzidelco.com/

On a recent chapter of their reality show, Wilson Phillips was talking passionately about their comeback. They said one of the big issues was getting enough visibility. So that day they were being interviewed by Perez Hilton – in bed. Of course, the bedroom was [...]]]> Why Wilson Phillips Got in Bed with Perez Hilton

On a recent chapter of their reality show, Wilson Phillips was talking passionately about their comeback. They said one of the big issues was getting enough visibility. So that day they were being interviewed by Perez Hilton – in bed. Of course, the bedroom was perfectly appointed, everyone was looking their business casual best and even Chynna’s spouse, Billy Baldwin, stopped by for a little camera time. Carnie Wilson explained why. When they were at their peak, in the old days of marketing, it would have taken a lot of money and a long time to get the kind of exposure they needed. In these social media days, they could accomplish the same thing by spending an hour in bed with Perez Hilton.

It made me laugh because it was weird and funny and, at the same time, true. Everyone can find you online. And that can be good or bad. Either way, if you are job hunting, you need to pay attention to what you are saying and the kind of impression you are leaving online.  I’m not talking about not posting incriminating pics of yourself because I’m presuming you’re old enough to know better. But polishing up your online persona is important because a prospective employer will look for and pay attention to that persona and, like it or not, it will become part of the decision process.

From time to time I help someone with their hiring decisions, or hire for myself, and I always start my research by googling the person’s name. I can learn a lot even from the little things – like no presence makes me wonder about how much they know about the current technology and trends, drinking and partying pictures are an automatic “no” and one candidate’s wallpaper had violent themes. But the icing on the cake was the candidate who told the social network that the goal was to work at a company to ratchet up expertise (“geek the technique”) and, in a year, start a new business overseas. It costs a company a lot of money to train someone, and when they do, the company wants to think they’ll stay for a while. That candidate didn’t even get an interview.

What should you do if you are job-hunting?

• Make sure your profile page has a good, strong description of who you are – not the downtime you, but the workplace you.
• Remove anything that you wouldn’t want a prospective employer to see.
• Make sure you have good privacy settings so that a prospective employer can see some of your information, but not the kind that you only want to share with your family and friends. Here’re the basics: http://www.facebook.com/help/privacy/basic-controls.
• Add items, like articles or news clips, that highlight your expertise.
• Google your name and go through all the pages. The first time I did it, I found someone had set up a yahoo dominatrix group using Victorious Woman AND my professional bio. Set up a google alert on your name and, if you have one, your company: http://www.google.com/alerts. Google will send you alerts whenever you name comes up and you can keep track what’s going on in the online world.

If you get nervous or feel intimidated when you have to speak at a meeting or in front [...]]]> “Communication is a skill that you can learn. It’s like riding a bicycle or typing. If you’re willing to work at it, you can rapidly improve the quality of every part of your life.” Brian Tracy

If you get nervous or feel intimidated when you have to speak at a meeting or in front of more than just one other person, try Toastmasters. It’s an inexpensive way to get better at speaking – both in and out of the workplace. Toastmasters starts you with a basic manual and you grow from there. It’s a great way to take control of the greatest fear most people have (yes, they would rather die than speak in public).

Find a club in your area: www.toastmasters.org/

“Communication is a continual balancing act, juggling the conflicting needs for [...]]]> …Deborah Tannen Wrote the Book!

If you have never read one of Deborah Tannen’s books, go to your library and get one, or download it from your library’s website. You might enjoy That’s Not What I Meant!: How Conversational Style Makes or Breaks Relationships

“Communication is a continual balancing act, juggling the conflicting needs for intimacy and independence. To survive in the world, we have to act in concert with others, but to survive as ourselves, rather than simply as cogs in a wheel, we have to act alone.” Deborah Tannen

Read articles and listen to podcasts on Tannen’s website: http://www9.georgetown.edu/faculty/tannend/