At one point in my late [...]]]> When I was younger and trying to get my life in order, I spent a lot of time feeling like I was always going in circles and getting nowhere in the process. Much of my life was frustrating and I often felt like a victim of “the system.”

At one point in my late twenties, and as a combination of both spiritual development and scientific understanding, I started to see that everything works within a system. When I wanted to get something done, if I used the system, things worked.

When I was financially under water, I saw a system could be applied to talking to banks or credit card companies, including being, getting names, asking for help and talking to supervisors. As I got out of debt, I understood the “pay yourself first” system of putting some money way every paycheck. I found that using coupons and banking the coupon savings, I could buy a mini-vacation. When I first used the DiSC Personal Profile, I saw a system for communicating more effectively. When I went back to college, there was a system in place that enabled me to get credits faster and for less cost (CLEP tests).

Finding a system means looking at the strategies that make up the system.

When you identify your strengths, you build confidence. So the simple strategy is this:

One of the problems a woman [...]]]> Strategies lay out a plan or method and a series of maneuvers designed to achieve a specific goal.  A strategy defines which actions you’ll take at each stage of a plan. A good strategy usually includes a “Plan B” in case something happens to thwart the initial plan.

One of the problems a woman faces when she chooses a goal is that she doesn’t make a plan that accommodates obstacles. And no matter what your goal, you can definitely expect something to get in your way. When you take the time to think a plan through, you are likely to come up with an obstacle or two that might include lack of money, a missing skill or certification or a missing network connection. When obstacles comes up, you can create a strategy to deal with it – as a part of the plan.  By doing that you will help yourself stay focused and on track. In addition, strategizing your way out or through an obstacle will save your energy for when you have to deal with the unknown obstacles – those oh-so-special “treats” that might come in the form of something like a government requirement or a toxic person.

This month I’ll be sharing strategies that you can plug into your plans, either in the workplace (SmartWoman@Work) or in your New Beginnings reinvention.

If you have strategies that have worked for you, let’s hear them. If you have questions, ask me in Kelly’s Cafe and I’ll answer.

Have a great month – plan smartly and live victoriously!

- Lao Tzu

Before becoming a bestselling author, Janet Evanovich turned a lot of pages in the story of her life. She started writing at age 40, while being a stay-at-home mom.  It [...]]]> How many changes of life and career can you have? A lot – and they ain’t over unless and until you decide to quit.

Before becoming a bestselling author, Janet Evanovich turned a lot of pages in the story of her life. She started writing at age 40, while being a stay-at-home mom.  It took ten years and a box full of rejection letters before she sold her first book. But once she found her voice, her writing created the spark that started a literary fire – and a ton of personal and professional success, including her first book-turned-movie, One For the Money.

Read about her story in her own words: http://www.evanovich.com/aboutjanet/janets-bio/

Are you passionate about writing or painting or some other creative outlet that you pushed to the back burner? Take time this month to find a local writers group or similar group where you can revive the passion. Who knows – you could be the next Janet!

First of all, what does “more” mean? When someone is my Optimal Living Success Workshop or a coaching session says she wants,  more money, I tell them I’ll [...]]]> One change most people say that want to make is to make more money. That always makes me laugh – even when I say it myself.

First of all, what does “more” mean? When someone is my Optimal Living Success Workshop or a coaching session says she wants,  more money, I tell them I’ll give them a dollar – and then they’ll have “more” money. Obviously, that’s not the kind of money they were thinking about, but I make my point.

But a real change about money is very different from the “more” kind. It has to do with the story you tell yourself about money and how you feel about money.

One woman I know is forever struggling financially. She’s smart and competent, but can never seem to make ends meet. When we first met about her future, her money issues surfaced almost immediately. It was in the form of anger that her mother was withholding money from her – money she believed was part of an inheritance trust. I don’t know if that was accurate or not, but what I do know is that she would never earn more than “just barely enough to get by” as long as she maintained an unhealthy attachment to that financial entitlement. Yet she wouldn’t let it go…and resented being told a truth she didn’t want to own. So she continues to find herself in financial straits.

Another woman is in a similar situation as the result of divorce. When she left very long but abusive marriage, she had few work skills. She found a low level job and lived meagerly. When the company offered to train her so she could be promoted, she was angry. She didn’t want to work there, or learn new skills. She wanted her estranged spouse to settle the divorce; he refused, seemingly to punish her for leaving. Yet, though she deserved better than what she was getting, when I suggested that she reframe her situation, she just couldn’t let go of the ties that were binding her.

In both cases, the women found themselves dependent on their own debilitating money stories. Other kinds of money stories might be centered in being taken care of, not being able to take care of yourself on your own,or  jealousy/resentment toward those who have more than you and dumb adages like, “money goes to money” or “money doesn’t grow on trees.”

Limiting beliefs create limiting finances. But those limiting beliefs can be changed. Charles Filmore wrote a wonderful book called “Prosperity” and you won’t go wrong if you read Catherine Ponder’s books. Each of these has a spiritual base, not are not religious.

Ask yourself how you think about money:

• I believe money is…
• My greatest problem with money right now is…
• If I had a lot of money, others would…
• My parents always said that money is…

Here are a few affirmations that, when you say them regularly (by that I mean 20-30x/day) they will gradually change the way you think and feel about money – and that will make a difference in how money comes to you. Pick one or two that you like, and have at it!

• I have enough money for all my needs and plenty more to spare and share
• I have enough money to take care of everything I need, be generous and do great things
• Money comes to me and I appreciate its presence in my life
• I am a good steward of my money and the better I am with it, the more I have of it

Yes, change is uncomfortable. So is a toothache.

Sometimes you want things to stay as they are because you think you can live with what is – even if “what is” might be [...]]]> Change reveals you to yourself. It brings you the opportunity to embrace something different or retreat into your personal comfort zone.

Yes, change is uncomfortable. So is a toothache.

Sometimes you want things to stay as they are because you think you can live with what is – even if “what is” might be a bad situation.  You wouldn’t do that with a toothache, would you? Of course not! That’s because you know for sure that if you don’t do something about a bad tooth, not only will it become more painful, it will become infected and affect the health of your whole body.

What you may not realize or acknowledge is that it’s the same with an unhappy marriage, or an unpleasant, stressful job or toxic relationship. If you don’t take care of the situation, it will definitely get worse, and you will suffer, one way or the other.

Listen, it’s human nature to want to avoid pain. Losing a tooth or getting a root canal is painful (I know, I’ve experienced both). Losing a job you don’t like or turning away from a toxic relationship isn’t easy. I quit a few jobs I hated and was (thankfully) laid off from jobs I needed but didn’t like. And my first twenty-five years of life were loaded with toxicity. So I know from experience that when you ignore your feelings, you dishonor your SELF – the soul of you. And the resulting pain is far worse than route canal, and lasts for a long time – sometimes a lifetime.

I honestly believe that’s a fate worse than death.

Change is risky – we might fail. Someone once told me, “The devil I know might be better than the devil I don’t know.” And I can understand that thought process – but I certainly don’t agree with it! Failure doesn’t feel good but there is an upside: failure lets you know one thing that you know for sure doesn’t work for you.