How can you influence others if you can’t convince yourself? You must believe in yourself so others can believe in you. The problem is that most women consistently talk themselves down. Chances are you are in that camp – especially if you’ve had the wind knocked out of you with a divorce, separation, death, layoff or some life-threatening or chronic illness.
So what do you do?
When I fall into my own personal pity pot, I always fall back on the foundational tools I learned thirty years ago: affirmations and visioning. More recently I’ve added another victory tools: EFT.
Here’s what they are:
1 - Affirmations. These are positive statements of a future truth. Affirmations are repeated over and over again until you feel their truth and believe them.
- I am a confident and competent woman.
- I am a woman who knows what I want and I go for it!
- I can speak up and stand up for myself with ease and I win.
For me, affirmations seem to follow a pattern. First they’re just words and I mentally challenge their truth. But the more I say them, my mental resistance lessens. As that happens, I start believing and feel hopeful. Around that time, I start getting ideas and things start happening that move me forward. Finally, the words are a part of me.
You can find affirmations in New Thought books, the Bible, a calendar, a thought for the day OR you can write your own. To write your own, decide what you want to affirm in your life (to make firm - like courage, strength, victory, prosperity, confidence). Then write it out and say it, over and over.
Vision Boards: You've heard about the Law of Attraction. One way to tickle the LOA is with a vision board or book.
- What it is: Have you ever seen or made a collage? Collages use pictures from past events and put them together on a board so that they tell a story or has a common theme. Maybe it's about a trip you took, or a project that you worked on with a team. It's the same thing with a Vision Board, EXCEPT the collage tells a story about what is happening in the future. It includes pictures of things you want.
Another tool that I'm fairly new to is the Emotional Freedom Technique. You can learn more about it at http://www.emofree.com.
Each of these are powerful tools. I've used the first two for over twenty years and EFT for a few years. If you find you are lacking confidence in yourself, you need to build that up - and these techniques provide wonderful ways to help you.
What is the Victorious Woman Project?
Founded by Annmarie Kelly, the Victorious Woman Project is a female empowerment resource containing articles, classes, books, podcasts and other tools for women over 40.