Feminine Power: Tip 5

Download.7.27.10 275Find Your Voice - and USE it

Feminine Power is about having a voice.

Your voice is way more than the sound that comes out of your mouth. Your Voice is YOUR story, the story of who you really are and the message you want to send to the world. It's the whole package of you, the sum of all your experiences up until this very moment. Your Voice is what makes you positively different from everyone else. It's the way you can live our loud and in living color.

Without your voice, you are living a life that is gray, or neutral or white-washed. The biggest disadvantage of living without your voice is that anyone with some color can "confiscate" your life and use it as a canvas for their own...and you pay the price in disappointment, lack of satisfaction, and in-authenticity.

Here are three ways to find your voice:

  1. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Your kids know when you mean something and when you don't. So does everyone else. Beating around the bush, sugar-coating your words, and assuming that others can "read between the lines" might feel safer, but to others it just makes you seem weak and invisible. Clarity isn't always easy and won't win you the "good girl" award. However, having your own voice will let people know who you are - and the important people will love that about you (and the unimportant will go away - and good riddance!).
  2. Have a point of view and express it. If you aren't sure how you feel about things - one thing or many things - you can keep a journal of your thoughts that you read back to yourself at the end of a month. Or find an article you disagree with and write down the reasons you disagree. Practice expressing your viewpoint. Sometimes it's easier to do that with someone who doesn't know you...like in store or while waiting in line. Think of it like shopping for a new dress. You're trying on opinions and thoughts, looking for ones that fit and feel good. Once you know what points of view are a good fit, speak up!
  3. Learn to argue. If you're the kind of woman who lets stuff go because you want to keep the peace and avoid making waves, you'll never find your voice. You have to accept that everyone isn't going to love everything you say all the time. That's life - real life. So, if you want to embrace your feminine power and be strong and authentic, you have to learn to speak up to explain or defend your point of view. Otherwise you will either walk away from conversations with your tail between your legs (and lose) or escalate a simple disagreement into a nasty argument (and lose).

You've heard the phrase "don't die with your song still in you." Finding and using your voice is the first step in singing the life song you were born to croon.