If you've ever been in Philadelphia, you know that it's loaded with one-way streets. Talk about feeling powerless! If you aren't exactly sure how to get someplace, you can drive around for a long time - up and down one-way streets and usually in a lot of traffic - before getting to your destination. By the time you get there, you're annoyed, frustrated and a bit worn out from the experience.
Relationships can be like.
A one-way street relationship is all about one person giving and the other one taking. It might be with a man or woman who is a friend, lover, co-worker or family member. The "street" is their street - all about them. You give when they need you. You listen when they have a problem, pick them up when they're down, pick them up when they need a ride, etc. The needs go on and on. You tell yourself that helping when your friend needs you is a good thing.
Maybe, maybe not. The "trust but verify" proverb can give you a sense of reality - and maybe save you some time and trouble.
When you need help, does the other person pitch in or are they usually too busy, telling you something like, "I would love to help you, and if you would have asked sooner, I could have." But s/he seldom, and maybe never, actually does anything. When you talk to them about it, s/he brushes you off, maybe even telling you that you're wrong or being overly sensitive. You think maybe s/he's right and you let it go...until the next time. You hang onto the relationship, maybe out of loyalty or love, but more and more, you feel used and hurt. You self-esteem is damaged, or maybe even shot.
Don't be embarrassed. We've all been there. Consider those deadbeat relationships learning experiences and get better.
A good relationship is a two-way street. That is, you are both going up and down on the street you share. The relationship is mostly about sharing, respect, laughter and good times. Sometimes you give and the other person takes and sometimes it's the other way around. But on balance, you feel it's equal. Yes, sometimes you get in a traffic jam and it has to be worked out. But mostly, the relationship energizes you and the other person.
Feminine Power is strong and potent when it's cared for and respected. When it's not, your feminine power is like a battery on its last volt - you get a little jolt, but not enough to power up anything.
Do you have any one-way street people in your life? Maybe it's time to get out of their city of self-focus and move on. It's high time that you find relationships that really are give and take - those two-way streets that will boost your energy and self-esteem, and theirs!
What is the Victorious Woman Project?
Founded by Annmarie Kelly, the Victorious Woman Project is a female empowerment resource containing articles, classes, books, podcasts and other tools for women over 40.