Stop Sabotage Tip#1: Get a Big Picture

There's Power in Your Compelling Big Picture

If you could paint a picture of your future, exactly the way you want it, what does it look like?

  • Where do you live?
  • What kind of work do you do?
  • What kind of house do you live in?
  • Describe the car you drive.
  • Do you travel around the world, or have a house at the beach or in the mountains.
    • Or do you do both?
  • Do you have a partner who is equally invested in your big picture?
  • What about kids? Grandkids?
  • For fun, do you golf or go dancing each week, or are you more likely to play tennis or pinochle?

If you can’t answer those questions, you need to do some daydreaming. Go away  by yourself: for a walk, to the beach, the mountains, a park or even to the local coffee shop. Looking at magazines can help tickle your thoughts; you don't have to buy them, just go to your local library or read them online. Some women use meditation, writing in a journal or listening to music to jazz up their thoughts.

Whatever method you use to get your mental juices flowing, let your answers excite you and lift you up. That's how you create a compelling big picture of the life you’ll love living.

Here's a question I get all the time: "What happens if I make a big picture and don’t get all the things in it?"

First of all, you need to ask yourself if that question is a form of self-sabotage designed to keep you stuck.

Secondly, if you have a big picture with five fabulous things in it, and you only get four of them, aren't you still better off than you are today?

Finally, and most importantly, when you don’t have a big picture, you’re leaving yourself open to the whims and dictates of other people in your life. When you don’t have a big picture, it’s really easy to get distracted or sidetracked by someone else, to fall in line with their goals for their future (instead of your own). The other person, who is excited about their picture for the future, will gladly let you get caught up in their excitement - they'll take all the help they can get.

In the meantime, you get swept up in their excitement because it feels good and because it’s easy. And it works for you...for a while. Over time you realize you've been working on and living their dream, not yours.

Down the road, which might be five months or five years…or longer…. you’ll look at where you are and wonder how you got there. And you notice that you aren't happy or filled up. Maybe you even feel frustrated or depressed.

That’s what self-sabotage does…and steals your joy, your enthusiasm and your life. Refuse to let that happen to you, from this moment forward!

Get your own big picture.

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Founded by Annmarie Kelly, the Victorious Woman Project is a female empowerment resource containing articles, classes, books, podcasts and other tools for women over 40.